I haven’t been writing as many articles for duderocket lately as I would like to be and the reason for that is that i am in love with a girl who i don’t think loves me back. And I have been depressed. Around a week ago it got too much and I needed to let Linda know how I felt. I've been smoking a bit anf feel like it would be a good idea to share. I left this letter in her backpack.
I'm writing this letter to tell you something that’s been bugging me and stressing me for three years. Not exactly three years, but very close to it. It's you linda. I never knew what I would do about it until I came up with writing a letter to you. I can not get you off of my mind. Your smile, your laugh, your body. I don’t think I've gone a day without thinking about you. I've never felt this way about any other person in my whole life. I like you linda. I want to use a stronger word than "like". "like" seems so weak for me to use In the situation I am in, and how I am feeling. Let me explain.
I was in year 8 when i first saw you. Ever since then, I tried to do whatever I could to try to get to know you. Through these years you've helped me with things that I don't think I could go to anyone else to. And after talking to you about it, it made me feel like I was getting to know you better. Until the year 9 dance came around and I asked renee to it. I know this seems like a long time ago, but it's still on my mind. Everyday since then, I really regret not asking you. I was too nervous, and scared to ask. and then how after I told you renee probably wasn’t going, then said you could go with me. And to crush you by telling you renee was going, after all, hurt me so bad. There were no words to explain what I went through when it happened. Not that I didn’t wanna go with renee, it was just that I feel it was a huge mistake not asking you.
I "like" you more for your personality. For the person you really are. A beautiful person who would go out of their way just to comfort someone.. I could go on forever telling you how you've influenced me and how you changed my life, in a good way. I see you just about everyday. And each day, it killed me more and more because of something telling me to let you know how I feel. Linda, its not that I wanna "get" with you. It's nothing like that at all. I do want to get with you and do stuff but it's like I also want to get to know you better as a person. Like I wanna hang out with you. Everytime that I would see your name online, my eyes would light up, and I would get an awesome feeling in my stomach. When I see you, I just get so happy. Sometimes when I don’t talk to you for a long period of time, I get depressed and don't know what to do. And everytime that I did talk to you face to face, I wouldn’t know what to say. I hope you realize what I'm saying here. I've just been so scared to tell you how much you mean to me. Writing this letter is the only thing that I could think of that would truly let you know what I'm going through. Please don't just read this and forget about it. This letter means the world to me, and so do you.
Your Friend, Dylan
I left the letter, hand written, in her backpack with a single rose.
Over the next few days, we didn't really speak. I bumped into her a few times but she just acted like she does normally and I didn't say much because I didn't know if she had read it or not. And just tonight I confronted her on msn about the letter and my feelings.
Here is the convo we just had and i don't really know what to make of it (and no, I'm not giving anybody her contact details cuz they would just send messages saying stuff like "you should get with dylan" and that):
Dylan: did u get my letter?
Linda: yea i did
Linda: that was so sweet dylan
Linda: im gonna let the rose dry so icankeep it :-)
Dylan: well, i couldnt go on much longer without lettin u know all that
Linda: aw, well im glad u gotit all out
Dylan: when u read it, how did u feel
Linda: i duno.. i was touched i mean no one's ever said that stuff 2 me
Dylan: really thats how much u mean to me, i really cant express it as much as i did in the letter
Linda: aw, dylan i just dont know what to say lol. i was taken by surprise
Dylan: i did tell u a while ago, that i sorta did like u
Linda: i feel like that was a long time ago
Dylan: i think
Linda: i guess i figured u were over it. cuz it was so long ago
Dylan: yeah, i sorta did give it too u all at once
Dylan: sorry if it was too much of a surprise
Linda: its ok dont b sorry
Dylan: i feel like we'll talk about this for a while, n then it'll fade away, n it'll be back to where it was before, just an occasional "hi" once a day
Linda: whatcha mean bythat...
Dylan: sorta like before, when we would talk alot, remember back in the day, when u'd be on alot, n we talked about so much, n then our convos started to die down, n then we didnt talk for a while n the only words we'd say were "hi" n "cya"
Dylan: ya know what i mean?
Linda: yeai geuss
Linda: do i give off like a vibd though?
Linda: liek u knwo im always there 4 u right?
Dylan: of course
Linda: well tahts good
Linda: sorry if i seem i dfuno untalkktive
Linda: this yr has beeen realllly tough
Linda: stress wise tahts all
Dylan: dont be
Dylan: it my fault
Dylan: the next day, i didnt think u read it, cause like, honestly, i thought that u were gonna call or sumthin.
Dylan: i have alot to say but i dont want u to think like "oh man, he's obsessed" or "yikes, i better back off NOW"
Linda: its cool
Dylan: nah, but i think ur just sayin that
Linda: ok... well idont wanan make u uncomfy
Dylan: let's see
Dylan: i think i love you. i find you attractive and i want to make out wiyh you n that.
Dylan: i've been waiting for this for so long
Linda: well listen i gota go now
Dylan: i was just aobut to say bye
Dylan: cuz i gotta go too
Linda: n i dont want u 2 think i r-u-nn-oft... so im gonna say ill ttyl, k.
Linda: o aighty
Dylan: im happy i let you know how i feel
Linda: :-) yeaa aim happy ur happy
Dylan: thanks ALOT
Linda: not a prob
Now I don't know what is going on...