The Greco-Nazis and World War Three

As Greece continues to hamstring itself between horrible debt and mass unemployment, a new voice has arisen from downtown Athens to give itself some centre-stage limelight. Following turmoil, economic ruin, political ineffectiveness and blazing riots, the people of Greece have really done it now. If things weren't already bad enough, they have now decided to put some good old fashioned Greek Nazis into their humble parliament.

Of course, the 'Golden Dawn' party itself isn't particularly new. They've been kicking since the early 90s and earned a local government seat in Athens two years ago. So why are they so popular now? Why would giving an extreme-right party with a history of violence and nastiness a bunch of federal seats achieve anything for Greece (to be fair, the slice was about 6-7% of the vote, or 21 seats)?

It might feel a bit like history is repeating itself right now. The worst economic disaster since the great depression is becoming the norm, France has just elected a great new socialist government, democracy is FAILING, and now there is a European country with Nazis being taken seriously. The conditions, one might say, are particularly ripe for a good old nation-builder of a war effort. The question is, who would go first and what would be the clincher?

If we were hedging bets, then I wouldn't pick Greece in the short-term. They're completely broke and nobody is lending. It would take some sneaky Hitler-ish manoeuvres to build a military capable of anything without putting noses out of joint and having the whole thing collapse during training. France? Not with the lefties in charge - they have this historical "thing" with avoiding conflict. Most likely they will adopt some crazily unaffordable social programs only to sink into bankruptcy over the next five years and blame it on the boogie. Germany will never wage another war, ever. Their museums are already too embarrassing without adding more to the cringe-list. Now that all of Europe has been covered, what about the US? They're broke too, and were never really that keen on European wars anyway. Americans like fighting in the third world, because goddammit that's just what America does.

How about China, the perennial elephant in the room? You often hear about the inevitable Chinese invasion, the secret plan to buy out assets and farmland and companies and governments then just move on in. This is pure far-fetchery. The manufacturing heartland of the world kind of needs customers, and warring against them is probably the worst way to go about it.

So now that everybody possible has been covered, who will be responsible for World War 3? I think it will be a far-out, science-fiction style ideological war that doesn't involve guns, tanks, jets, bombs or any armies at all. Just a sluggish slide into a state of broad global detestation. Imagine it - nobody lets you in front of their packed up trolley when you only have a chocolate milk, a sharp increase in volumes of bad winners and sore losers, police officers that pick on you for kicks, an army of independently snarky colleagues and a big slap in the face to the principles of teamwork.

And you know whose fault that will be? The Greek-Nazis-Golden-Dawn-Alliance: because they hate immigrants and they hate freedom, even if they do love a mad souvlaki BBQ.