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I am going to kill the prick who lives next door to me
[front page picture unrelated, just a nice picture to enjoy]
I’m not usually one to vent about personal issues on the internet, so please bear with me for this one.
My neighbour has completely lost the plot. I guess I can admit that I’ve never really been the easiest person in the world to live next door to. I don’t really care about the stupid rental house that I live in and the garden could be a bit tidier. Old mate next door has lived there for about 30 years (I know, because I did the property searches on when he bought the place back in the late seventies) and his house is crappier than mine. Peeling paint on dumb looking weatherboard walls. Shitty grass in his retarded back yard.
Losing Weight
A while ago I put up an article called What I Ate in 2008, a glorious celebration of cordial, pepsi and Coles-brand pizza. Today I thought I'd put up the flipside of this gluttonous display of debauchery; my personal guide to weight loss.
1. Eat salsa
Salsa is a healthy alternative to just about everything. I put it on pizzas instead of pizza sauce, I use it for dipping, I eat it just on its own, I mix it in with stir-fries. Whatever you can think of, I do it. You can just about dip anything into it - celery, flatbread and cocks are all relatively calorie-free!
2. Exercise (duh)
You gotta exercise.
Superpowers
With the Avengers movie being as popular as it is the topic of superpowers is on the table again, where people discuss what power they would choose if they were ever faced with the decision. Everybody has a different preference and their own reasons, but today I am going to share my thoughts on the topic.
I think super strength would be fun for a little while. Just being able to have the ability to go upto the biggest wankers ever and abuse them and then when they think they could easily take you, just beat them down. That would be so great.
The Greco-Nazis and World War Three
As Greece continues to hamstring itself between horrible debt and mass unemployment, a new voice has arisen from downtown Athens to give itself some centre-stage limelight. Following turmoil, economic ruin, political ineffectiveness and blazing riots, the people of Greece have really done it now. If things weren't already bad enough, they have now decided to put some good old fashioned Greek Nazis into their humble parliament.
Of course, the 'Golden Dawn' party itself isn't particularly new. They've been kicking since the early 90s and earned a local government seat in Athens two years ago. So why are they so popular now?
Worst Retail Stories Part 2
A couple of weeks ago I began regaling you all with the worst stories from my retail career. They ranged from the weird and creepy (old guys using Mills and Boons for wanking material) to the downright annoying (self-righteous bible-bashers). Fortunately for you (and unfortunately for me) I have at least six more stories to share about my time working for the bookstore Angus & Robertson, the major retail chain known as Target, and another short-lived independent bookstore.
Old Man Farting on Head
My title for this story matches exactly what happened.
Treme
Treme. I've just finished watching the first season and it really resonated with me. I guess if there's one thing that hooks me into something it's that sense of fair play and injustice associated with reality. The world can be a mean and unfair place, and the complicated nature of (western) society sometimes makes it really hard to cut to the heart of the hows and whys.
Pennywise - ALL OR NOTHING
Pennywise are one of the world’s most disliked bands. Everybody has their own personal reasons as to what makes them so bad. It might be how you feel insulted by their absurd, ridiculous lyrics. Maybe it’s how they have released the same album over and over again for years now. Did their merchandise line in the 90’s bug you? Perhaps you’re put off by all the macho, violent, rape-y bros that make up their fanbase. There are so many reasons for people to hate on a band like Pennywise.
In 2009 Pennywise vocalist Jim "Punk Rock Dad" Lindberg submitted his resignation and quit the band.
The Machine
Boris stood back and admired his work.
Exhausting hours had been dispensed, though never wasted. A culmination of mankind’s achievements lay before him in a glorious heap, allaying any fears of contemporary backwardness. His special place in the new frontier as an advanced, capable and downright compatible citizen was now glaringly obvious. He had risen above the muck, taken a shot, and plunged headlong into state-of-the-art proficiency.
His new addition’s cool black veneer instantly modernised the otherwise dull room. It reminded him of an exuberant piano in a cocktail lounge, all class and perpetually unsoiled by dust and grubbiness. He knew this state of perfection would not last, such was the natural order of things, but for the moment it was a grand sight to behold.
The End of My Love Affair with Al Jazeera English….It’s OK though, we’re still friends, sorta.
Like the end of most loves it didn’t come quickly, no swift act of betrayal but a series of incidents over a period of time, but that will come later.
Worst Retail Stories Part 1
I did ten years in retail before I finally got jack of the low pay and low rewards vs. the high expectations of administration. I found it very hard to work a job in retail for that long and not be bitter about it, and if ever there was an argument against free enterprise then the retail industry is a good part of that argument. I feel kind of vindicated that online industries are starting to supplant some of these companies, there are so many dodgy practices embedded in the industry... but hey, I won't rant too much about that, that's another story for another time.
Today I would like to talk about some of my fun times dealing with 'customers'.
Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?
