The mysterious stories of M. Night Shyamalan
EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Star Wars VII script - Part 2
With the recent news that Disney was purchasing Lucasfilm and planning to make a new STAR WARS film, the internet has been buzzing with discussion and debate over what it means for one of the greatest film sagas of all time. Some people have been upset thinking that Disney would obviously Disneyfy the series making it child-friendly, some stoked at the possibilities of what Disney may be able to pull off, but whatever your stance, it is obvious that this is a big freaking deal and everyone is fairly pumped to find out what happens.
In an exclusive, Duderocket is proud to present the first look at what Disney and Lucas have planned for the saga in the form of a leaked script, a screenplay written by Lucas for Michael Arndt, detailing his plans for the next episode.
EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Star Wars VII script - Part 1
With the recent news that Disney was purchasing Lucasfilm and planning to make a new STAR WARS film, the internet has been buzzing with discussion and debate over what it means for one of the greatest film sagas of all time. Some people have been upset thinking that Disney would obviously Disneyfy the series making it child-friendly, some stoked at the possibilities of what Disney may be able to pull off, but whatever your stance, it is obvious that this is a big freaking deal and everyone is fairly pumped to find out what happens.
In an exclusive, Duderocket is proud to present the first look at what Disney and Lucas have planned for the saga in the form of a leaked script, a screenplay written by Lucas for Michael Arndt, detailing his plans for the next episode.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory Part 8
“But it’s still quite early in the century to be making such luxurious claims, don’t you think?” Gerry’s logic could not be faulted.
“Ah, but in my home town of Genevieve I am known as a PRINCE of luxury!” faulted Terrence Carabobo. “Besides, there has not been a heist so grand since 1912, and that my friends, is exactly one century ago, is it not?”
He bowed gracefully to the crowd, who flashed each other looks of ‘well, you can’t argue with that’ and dutifully entered into a polite clap.
Not to be outdone, Gerry refuted the seemingly impeccable reason.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory Part 7
"Look mate", said Gerry, "I chose your fuckin' peanut, I came to your scummy fuckin' house, but what kind of prize is this? I'd rather fuck an actual dog than have Tru as my queen. No offence Tru, but you've got a face like a bucket of fish gut".
With his last sentence, Tru let forth a piercing scream of anger and threw herself towards Gerry, her ratty french tips raking the air as she attempted to claw his face. Gerry stepped back with a smirk as Leonard-the-henchman wrapped a burly arm around Tru's bony midriff and gently pulled her back.
Terrence Carabobo wearily facepalmed. Tru began to slowly calm down as Gerry snickered at his own wittiness.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory: Part 6
Terrence Carabobo took in the bizarre confrontation, his pulse racing; his stomach in turmoil. The boy from the wretched slums of Caracas had been shaped by some horrendous things over his life – this was among the worst and he was certain that he would not easily forget this encounter.
On his left was the sickly visage of a woman who had plainly wasted her life in the pursuit of the promise of happiness broken time and time again by alcohol. Her hair was thin and plainly in danger of thinning further. Her face was contorted into a painful grimace which was as close as she could come to a smile.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory: Part 5
"Water streets? You want fucking water streets? Is that what what you want, is it? Terrence, Leonard, take this slappa out of my site" said Gerry as he fumbled around in his pockets looking for a cigarette that didn't exist.
"I'm sorry Gerry, but we can't do that. Tru is an important part of our plans".
"But I'm farkin, I'm farkin the CHOSEN one right mate? So you have to do what I say!" snorted Gerry, hands on hips, with a satisfied grin on his face.
Terrence looked pleased and Leonard let out a hearty belly-laugh that perfectly replicated the sound of two Walruses fucking.
"Gerry, it seems there's been a misunderstanding.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory: Part 4
Only a minute had passed in Terrence Carabobo’s luxurious three storey mansion but it had felt like several hours.
The two men stood in the foyer about a foot or two apart. Terrence, the mysterious stranger in the crisp white suit maintained his ominous stare at Gerry in his Hawaiian shirt, who was now sweating quite profusely and forming large sweat stains under each armpit.
Gerry finally broke the deafening silence while violently shaking his head from side to side.
"What kind of sick fuckin’ game are you playing at mate?
Gerry and the Beans of Glory: Part 3
Gerry rolled a few feet along the ground and then came to a stop. Dazed and confused, he picked himself up off the ground, the taxi screeching to a halt not much further up the road. The driver got out and started laughing. Laughing harder than anybody you have ever seen before. Angry and embarrassed Gerry fell to his knees, and started trying to get his money back in the suitcase. As he was stuffing, Gerry looked to his left and noticed a group of children who too had stopped their game of hopscotch to laugh at his misfortune. Gerry was bright red now, cursing violently as he stuffed the notes. To his right he spotted a group of women holding fruit baskets, also laughing.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory: Part 2
Gerry wandered out into the street. Neon lights from the kebab shop up the road stared at his desolate, emaciated face, mocking its destitude. He swaggered into the scunginess and shouted at the Turkish man:
“Have you got an old kebab I can have for free?”
He purposefully bulged his eyes and quickened his breath, putting on every hallmark of a horrible drug addict.
“What about a kebab!” he boomed before the frightened Turkish man could answer. From behind his thick moustache came a feeble remark of hesitation, and then a quick ‘sure, sure...and then you must leave.’
‘Yeah sick!’ Jerry shouted again as the hasty kebab came his way.
Gerry and the Beans of Glory: Part 1
Hello, and welcome to a new feature of Duderocket. This is Part 1 of Gerry and the Beans of Glory, a serial with a difference. Each week a new part of the serial will be released on Duderocket and each part will be written by a different Duderocket contributor. None of the writers have any idea what the others are going to write and there has been zero planning, so kick your stinky socks off and relax, and join Gerry as his story unfolds over the next few weeks...
Life in the fast lane was where Gerry wanted to be. An expensive car with automatic windows, a hot woman on his arm who wasn't afraid to shave her legs every once in a while, and enough money in his pocket to eat at the Hog's Breath Cafe whenever he wanted.
We're about to make film history, right here... on videotape.
